Mohammed Fayed (owner of Harrods, a store in Knightsbridge, London): Ah, Ms Tatou, so glad you could come and open my great sale. And this must be your friend Daniel Craig!
Audrey Zazou (head of Blatherskite’s Paris bureau): Zazou. ‘O are …
Serge Poniatowski (Blatherskite’s chief celebrity interviewer): You go first Audrey
Audrey Zazou (head of Blatherskite’s Paris bureau): That’s amazingly polite Serge, OK, Victoria Beckham
Serge: Don’t be ridiculous, what’s she done? She’s a stick insect!
Audrey: No class, no style, that’s you Serge. …
Posted on December 9, 2008 in
Serge
Jacqui Smith (home secretary): Try the spider
Police inspector: What, the big hairy one?
Smith: The biggest you’ve got
Inspector: I’ve not picking that up
Smith: Wimp! Bring it here, I’ll do it
Serge Poniatowski (Blatherskite’s chief celebrity interviewer, currently in custody for having Carla …
Victoria B: Is that you Audrey? Where the hell have you been?
Audrey Zazou (head of Blatherskite’s Paris Bureau): Out
Victoria B: Out where? You’ve no right to be out when I want you!
Audrey: Now ‘ang on Victoria…
Victoria B: Oh I’m sorry …
Posted on November 28, 2008 in
Serge
Police inspector: Now my lad, you’d better come quietly
Serge Poniatowski (Blatherskite’s chief celebrity interviewer): But I ‘ave done nothing wrong
Inspector: That’s for us to know and you to find out. Hand over your wallet and your mobile phone please son
Serge: …
Not for the first time of course.
The New Zealand All Blacks are the best team in world rugby, although they have two monkeys on their backs (not English alas).
One is that they can’t win the World Cup abroad (although they’ll …
That fine actor Pete Postlethwaite has taken a right old kicking, along with the rest of the production and director Rupert Goold, for his impersonation of Shakespeare’s King Lear at Liverpool’s Everyman Theatre.
The production has been savaged by the critics …
Posted on November 18, 2008 in
Serge
Serge Poniatowski (Blatherskite’s chief celebrity interviewer): ‘Allo Robert, is that you?
Robert Kilroy-Silk (former MP, chat show host, currently member of the European Parliament and contestant on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here): Who the **** is this?
Serge: Serge …
Posted on November 12, 2008 in
Serge
Prince Charles: Now Serge, you Blatherskite chaps really must stop writing about me and boiled eggs
Serge Poniatowski (Blatherskite’s chief celebrity interviewer): That wasn’t me your…
Charles: Well what do you do then?
Serge: I Interview les celebrities
Charles: Must be pretty boring. Why …
