Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (first lady of France, in the Elysee palace): Sit down here Audrey, this is how we do it
Audrey Zazou (head of Blatherskite’s French Bureau): But that’s the president’s desk Carla
Carla: I know Audrey and, look, I can do ‘is signature too
Audrey: To do what Carla?
Carla: To make sure ‘e does the right thing, of course
Audrey: Is that why they are all saying that France ‘as moved to le gauche since you got married?
Carla: Maybe, but Nic’s ‘appy enough, he’s getting all these ‘eadlines and he’s ‘appy.
Audrey: So what are we going to do Carla?
Carla: I thought we might ban football
Audrey: Good idea Carla, but zat won’t be very popular on le gauche or la droit
Carla: But it will annoy the hell out of those bloody Italians
Audrey: Why do you want to annoy them?
Carla: Because zey are all ‘aving a go at me for for saying I’m French not Italian and for criticising that jumped up waiter Berlusconi for saying Obama is a boy with a suntan
Audrey: Well I agree with you there Carla, but I really don’t think we….
Carla: Audrey, you’re a wimp. Maybe Serge might ‘elp
Audrey: I don’t know why you you didn’t speak to Serge in the first place
Carla: ‘E’s a batarde. ‘E doesn’t like my album. C’mon Audrey, I just sign this letter and you be the witness
Audrey: I think I’d better go Carla, things to do
Carla: Poodlefaker!
[Image Attribution: thu_madelin]