He’s supposed to have had surgery but there are many reasons why the greedy boy wonder footballer might not be keen to appear at Machester United’s training ground for the new season.
Ronaldo has decided he wants to leave for Real …
Serge Poniatowski (Blatherskite’s chief celebrity interviewer): But you told me we had seats on the plane.
Audrey Zazou (Blatherskite’s Paris Bureau Chief): But I thought we had! That bastard Sarkozy left us at the airport.
Serge: But I thought he was your …
The highly talented chanteuse had boarded a flight to London from LA when a bird thoughtlessly flew into one of the engines.
The shaken passengers promptly disembarked but not Victoria, who stayed on board to put her make-up on. Good …
Nic Sarkozy: (president of France): ‘Allo, Serge?
Serge (Blatherskite’s chief celebrity interviewer): What do you want?
Sarkozy: Serge, I am ‘aving all this trouble with Peter Mandelson
Serge: Who?
Sarkozy: Peter Mandelson, you know, the EU commissioner for trade? That gay bloke ‘oo was …
Well here we are, in the middle of the football transfer window, and absolutely nothing is happening.
That show pony Ronaldo of Manchester United has damaged his fetlock, so will Real Madrid really try to tempt Manchester United (aka the highly-indebted …
UK PM Gordon Brown gave us all a ticking off as he set off for the G8 meeting in Japan, saying we shouldn’t chuck away so much food.
This is all fine and good but Brown is about to be tucking into …
Actually it does shock lots of people, well not the pay per se but the expenses on the now notorious ‘John Lewis’ list (organic jacuzzis and that kind of thing).
They’ve just voted themselves a two per cent pay rise but …
The UK government has decided not to slaughter the nation’s badgers to try to stem bovine TB, for which old Brock is blamed, provoking fury among the farming community.
Now I’m never quite sure what the farming community is; is it farmers …