Stephen Carter (Downing Street 'head of strategy'): Hello, is that Serge? Serge Poniatowski (Blatherskite's chief celebrity interviewer): Who's that? I'm busy. Carter: It's Stephen Carter, Serge, head of strategy in Downing Street. Serge (chortling): What strategy is zat Steve? Carter: Er, good question Serge but we must move on. Serge: To where, Steve? Carter: (through gritted teeth): That's where you may be able to help Serge. President Sarkozy tells me that you have helped him with some of his issues and I wondered if you had any ideas that might help us make our case that the PM is on the voters' side. Serge: By putting up taxes you mean? Carter: Er, I was thinking of something more positive than that. Serge: Well you could get Carla over again. Carter: Carla Bruni-Sarkozy? Serge: My, you are up to speed with ze events, Steve. Carter: That's what I'm paid for. Do you think she'd come Serge? Do you think her last visit helped the PM? Serge: Apart from snogging her wrong and getting lost at ze banquet, probably yes. Carter: Interesting one. But why should she come here again? Serge: Give her a medal or something, services to rock stars or whatever. Carter: Serge, I don't think you're taking this entirely seriously. Serge: C'est vrai mon ami. Anyway must go now. Got to write this up (hangs up) Carter: Serge, Serge! Where are you you bastard!